NaNoers -- EAT THAT FROG!

Happy NaNoWriMo! A writing friend asked me the other day if I had any time management tips to help her get through NaNo. Here’s what I told her:

“Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.” -- Mark Twain

Confession #1 – I am a not-so-closeted self-help junkie.

One reason I gravitate towards them is because they inevitably offer great stories.  Even books where the advice doesn’t quite fit you (and I’m not sure I’ve ever read one where I didn’t pick up at least one new thing) can be appreciated for the telling of a good story or two.

Confession #2 – I tend to buy self-help books the same way I do fiction – Cover Art. I’m one of the 22% of readers who give great importance to a book cover. I’ve found some of my most favorite books this way – Big Stone Gap, Garden Spells, The Last Time They Met (whose cover is much more impacting in a book store than on line). I’m also a sucker for clever titles.

So when I saw the above book several years back from Brian Tracey, my intrigue went to high and I had to have it.

Thank goodness, too. To this day the premise of the book is a go-to strategy that has snuck in my subconscious, and, like a song earwig, springs itself on me, usually when I’m under a false impression that everything is hunky dory fine.

Eat that Frog is based on the Mark Twain quote above. Tracey re-frames the quote so that your frog =’s the hardest, hairiest, rottenest and (probably) most important task you have to do in any given day and it should be tackled before any other thing in your day.

Frogs are also tasks we are most likely to procrastinate. Like getting our words in each day for NaNo.

Eating your frog first thing sets up your day to end well with easier tasks, and it ensures you’ll have energy to clear your list because you accomplished something big first, which is energizing. If you have two frogs to eat in any given day, his advice is to eat your ugliest frog first.

He goes on to offer 21 tactics to help support finding and swallowing those croakers.

So to answer my friend - whenever I find myself overwhelmed by my to-do list, I go frog hunting.

What’s your best advice for surviving Nano?

Can Stella Get Her Groove Back?

(photo courtesy of Bob from the chive.com)

A Creator’s guide to surviving the winter of our discontent when tragedy strikes.

 “Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven by some demon whom one can neither resist or [sic] understand.” – George Orwell, Why I Write

My four year old is in a blocks phase. Actually it’s a tower phase. She’ll build a tower with almost anything that presents itself – those jelly collections at the pancake house, vegetable cans from the pantry, the new pile of library books…

I admit that this is an OCD game I can get behind. I love to see how tall we can get the tower before it starts to wobble, before the architecture cracks at the bottom and causes the top to finally topple.

Several weeks ago my family experienced the unexpected, tragic death of a close family member.  As regular readers know, I was already in the middle of a major life transitionwith a cross country move and change in employment, all of which are on every top “life stressors” lists for a reason.

Since the funeral, I understandably haven’t been myself. It was enough to send my creative balance toppling.

The emotions of creative types often live at the surface and run deep. That’s a good thing, serving us well as we channel it into whatever creative endeavor we’ve chosen.

This latest event was a reminder of what a delicate balance the whole thing is - too much emotion and we are blinded, unable to produce or produce at our best, cascading into a spiral where we end up chopping off our ears or obliterating ourselves with cocaine (no worries, my ears are still attached and I'm not in need of rehab. And, no, that's not the denial talking).

So what’s a girl in mourning who typically writes lighthearted, funny mysteries to do?

For me what’s suffered most is my social media “platform building”. This blog for instance which hasn’t had an update for weeks. Anything even remotely twitter related…I want people to go away. At least for a minute. I need time to process, to get back into balance.

My writing (thankfully) hasn’t suffered. I’m not writing comedy, but I’m writing. A new WIP I’ve had churning for a while. I won’t know if it’s any good until I get past my current funk, but words are hitting the page and that means there’s at least a foundation to edit against.

In the meantime, I’ve been contemplating others in my situation. I’d previously posted 25 things to do when you just can’t write.

But this is different. This is how to get writing again. Or what to do when you shouldn’t  be writing because that balance just isn’t quite there. Because tragedy. Or life.

What follows isn’t one of those “you should do this” list. Managing emotion, grief, sometimes depression, for any creative type is such a personal thing, often cultivated over years. But if you're recovering from a tragedy or even an all around snapping turtle blues rough time, it might give you just one new idea, one different perspective, one extra thing to try that might help re-balance your stack. 

Here’s what’s been helping me get my way back to center:

·         Be Physical – Scientifically proven to be better than antidepressants. A lot of writers find walking a big comfort. Me, I demoed my bathroom. Nothing like a five pound sledge smashing into porcelain tile, followed by the revving sound of the saws-all as it clears the drywall. Seriously, better than therapy.

·         Lower Expectations – Happy is not the goal if you want to be happy says the geeks. Productive, good goal. Not sad – I’ll take it. Out of my pajamas earns stickers on the star chart.

·         Create Anyway – Writers write. It will probably suck. It will feel awkward. You’ll know it’s not your best work. But, magically, it will help. It will heal. It will be a release.

·         Mixed Media therapy – If you’re a writer, paint. Painter? Sculpt. Your insides are probably longing to create still and doing something in a media outside your norm will give your ego permission to suck and do it anyway which will allow for the above bullet to do its thing. I’m currently experimenting in pumpkin and candy corn.

·         Routines Help – eat, sleep, work, kids, write time…the same thing, every day. Routines allow the body to function so that the mind can work through its stuff unburdened by having to make every day decisions.

·         Meditate – Every day for 20 minutes. Whether you manage to do it well or not, the act of trying, the act of practicing stillness, will allow the soul to take a timeout

·         Purge – find a friend you can unload to, write a letter that spews it all out, join a support group…find a way to get it out in a safe place. See writing as a healer link above

·         Give Yourself Permission - Tragedy is supposed to suck and grief moves at its own pace. Get off your own back and give yourself permission to feel like awful for a while.

·         Ask For Help – I don’t know many people who are good at this. This comes with being a Type A with a bunch of Type A friends. But sometimes we have to realize it’s our only option for moving forward. Whether it’s something small, like asking those around you to carry a bit more until you’re back on your feet, or spending some comfy couch time with a pro, you owe it to those who love you not to let your balance issues get too far out of control. Asking for help isn’t weak. It’s what gets strong people through tough times.

Many of you have sent warm wishes and good thoughts. Thanks for that. Those help too. So does your patience while I’m working to re-balance.

Creative friends – what’s your go to for restoring your balance when life knocks you down? 

Need Inspiration? I got "The Call"

A very special thank you to the fabulous Michelle Hauck for hosting the story of my journey to landing my agent, the wonderful and terrific Priya Doraswamy from Lotus Lane Lit. This is my first guest post ever and I appreciate Michelle's kindness.

Click here to read.

And while you're there check out the other inspirational call stories or take a look at Michelle's latest book.

How You (and most writers I know) are Just Like Nicolas Sparks

While trolling the interwebs looking for advice on how to handle my agent “call”, I ran into this series of great post from bestselling Nicolas Sparks on how he landed an agent and ultimate publishing deal.

I highly recommend you read the series. But here is what I learned – Before becoming a bestselling author, he was a lot like you and me.

-        If you’ve received more than 20 rejections, you’re like Nick. -  He only had one offer from one agent. 24 agents said no, even those who had read the novel. The one agent that said yes was fresh out of college and never sold anything before.

-        Even successful writers don’t write the best query letters – Check out his query letter for the Notebook.- I’m sure back in its day this letter was good, but as members of any of the query websites such as agentqueryconnect or querytracker would attest, this letter would most likely get a quick and tidy form rejection today.

-         If you have a day job and write whenever you can fit it in, you’re like Nick - Before he sold his novel, he had a day job. He fit writing in on the side, and his wife generously put up with him being a consumed writer. He writes five or six days a week. 
 If you have books in the trunk, you’re like Nick - He had two other shelved books before finally making it with the Notebook
 If you’re hoping for even a paltry advance for something you wrote, you’re like Nick. - The day he sold his novel he was hoping for an offer that would pay off his credit card or maybe let them get a second car. Instead, he was offered a life changing million dollars.

The moral of this story is one that gets repeated often in our world – even overnight successes aren’t really. They struggled just like you.

But they never, ever gave up the dream.

How many ways are you like Nick?

One Size Does Not Fit All

I am afflicted with what is referred to in urban slang as Jesus toes (no offense intended to my Christian friends), or, more clinically, as Morton toes, where my second toe is larger than my first. And not just by a bit. It is head and shoulders above the rest.

What this means in practical terms (besides the fact that if I ever lose a finger, I'm golden) is I am forever having to buy new socks (because sock makers expect girls' feet to slant) and that there are some high heels I can never ever wear, despite how much I covet them.

No one ever thinks that socks, beyond the basic sizes, are not a "one size fits all" item. People assume they are ubiquitous.

Similarly, people often assume that there is a one size fits all system for accomplishing big goals like writing the great American novel, losing weight or starting a business.

I had someone tell me yesterday that if I wasn't writing everyday, I wasn't serious about my writing.

To this well intended person I say - What a bunch of bunk! My foot will never fit in that shoe. And thankfully, after years of foot ache, I have learned that, and now, despite how tempting it sounds, I resist the slingbacks with the shiny buckle.

I'm sure you've heard it all before, too - You must write everyday. You must have a word goal. You must eliminate adverbs...

And it's not just writers who hear these things. Anyone trying to accomplish something, from starting a business to losing weight, will hear similar advice.

It starts innocently. When attempting a complicated new path, we naturally read everything we can, eager to not repeat mistakes of the successful people before us. Over time and the internet (because if you read it on the internet it must be true), that beginners advice becomes instantiated as a law.

But one size does not fit all. We are each built with different metabolisms, productivity and creativity engines and feet.

Whether you are on a journey to a smaller waist line or moving people with your prose, there is no one thing that everyone must do to be successful. Anyone who tells you otherwise is full of bananas.

In my post on how to stop your yo-yo writing diet, I noted the importance of having a system for fitting writing into your daily life, and that's something I firmly stand behind.

But your system and my system may not look anything alike. You need a system that will work best with your style, that supports your strengthens and curbs your weaknesses. For some people, even that won't work for them. They need to be free of the pressure of a system or plan to create well.

The key is to learn what shoes hurt your feet, or in this case, what writing adages do and don't work best for you.

The road to productivity and creativity is paved with self discovery.

So, for anyone who needs permission from the internet, here you go - You may not write everyday. You may not ever have a word count goal. You may be an adverb loving fool with Jesus toes who will never be able to wear the beautiful Manolo Blahniks.

Writer friends, what writing adages have you found most and least helpful? Post them up in the comments.

25 Productive Alternatives When You Just Can’t Write

Have your imaginary friends stopped talking to you? Is your muse on vacation?

I don’t have writers block. I'm in a writes lull. My main manuscript is on submission. I was working on book two in the series, but if book one doesn’t sell, I might backburner it and focus on a new project. I don’t want to get the new project going just yet, though, until there is some resolution on book 1. No since changing gears if I won’t need to. Besides, starting a new project would be an emotional commitment that I’m not ready for yet.

But I don’t want to be a slug. So if you are like, in a lull, unable to work on a manuscript, here are 25 other things (with resource links) that we can be doing to spend the time productively.

1.       Support fellow authors with shout outs on twitter and facebook

2.       Walk – All the cool writers do it

3.       Pre-write a month’s worth of blog posts around a particular theme

4.       Find and post helpful advice on a writer’s forum – absolutewrite.com, querytracker.net, agentqueryconnect.com

5.       Find, read and review a book from a first time published or Indie author. Nora Roberts does not need your review J

6.       Put critique karma in the bank by being a beta reader or critique partner. I use Ladies Who Critique and Scribophile

7.       Hang out on the internet somewhere you wouldn’t normally – arts, science and food, oh my

8.       Set up a social media calendar for the rest of the year

9.       Learn one new grammar tip a day. I like Grammar Girl and Daily Grammar

10.   If you aren’t already on it, join and dive in to Goodreads. If you are, up your gaming by participating more

11.   Set up your Google+ profile and presence, (the second largest social community on the web) including linking your author presence so that your picture and bio show in google search

12.   Sketch or draw – It makes you see better

13.   Guest blog – everyone is always looking for a way to mix up their online content and it’s a great marketing tool

14.   Host a contest – big or small work but engenders lots of goodwill

15.   Join a genre fan group – be a fan before you need fans

16.   Go somewhere new – bar, restaurant, concert at the local school. Or try communing with nature scientifically proven to up your creativity

17.   Ride the bus or train – and be amazed at the creativity it inspires

18.   Go somewhere old and act differently – observe how people respond

19.   Take a class – most community colleges and local universities offer cheap, fun classes through their extension programs. Also, check out free online classes

20.   Attend your local government meeting – want to see conflict in action? Go to a town meeting.

21.   Write a short story and submit it somewhere

22.   Go to a theme park and people watch

23.   Take pictures and tell a picture story

24.   Join a meetup on something you have passion for

25.   Discover your romance name – or other silly things that can inspire you to think differently

 What do you do when you can't write? Share your tips in the comments.

Stop Your Yo-yo Writing Diet Now!

There I was, in my writers group, sucking down my healthy snack and a good cup of coffee, listening to my fellow wannabe authors round-robin their week’s progress, looking for support to overcome their obstacles. And then it hit me – substitute words written for pounds lost and I’m in Weight Watchers for Authors.

Last post I talked about time management for writers and starting the new year with goal setting. But most writers have writing goals. The problem is, we aren’t meeting them. The number one issue facing many aspiring writers is not their writing talent or craft development, it's figuring out how to manage a writing life and a real life.

Goals and Desire Are Not Enough

Like the aspiring pound-dropping, healthy eater, we often start the week determined to meet our word or chapter goal, only to find ourselves at week’s end disappointed with the results. It was a bad week at work or with the family, we tell ourselves. Or the migraine flared up. Or I couldn’t possibly stick to the plan with the season premiere of Breaking Bad tempting me worse than a desert table at a Christmas party. So the manuscript sits until we can haul ourselves back to it through brute force. Before we know it, we've been on and off the yo-yo diet so many times our wip is dizzy…So we tell ourselves that we need more discipline, like the yo-yo dieters who tell themselves they need to have more willpower.

To stop the yo-yo writer's diet you must have a success system.

As much as dieters can’t willpower themselves to a gym routine and a ten pound weight loss, writers can’t discipline themselves into getting a 1000 words a day on the page. Instead we must put a system in place that sets us up for success. It is not enough to have a goal to write. To effectively execute any goal or change, we need a reinforcing set of support mechanisms that will keep us on track even when our discipline and willpower aren’t flowing at a 10. The system is like the safety net under the tightrope - if we fall, the system bounces us right back up.

What’s in a good system (and will it cost me 3 low payments of 19.99?)

Like no single diet works for everyone, everyone’s writing system will be different, as well. But a good system will have three things in common:

1. You system must maximize your strengths
There’s a segment of management theory that says you can’t help someone overcome their weaknesses, you can only play to their strengths. We all have times when writing comes easy.  For me, the words flow easiest in the morning. I’ve found that I’m a burster who likes writing big chunks in a sitting and then not writing (or preferably doing anything else either) at all for a while. My system doesn’t include a daily word goal. Instead, I have a week’s goal based on a daily average and I arrange my day so that it starts with writing when possible.



2. Your system must help you avoid your triggers to failure
When I’m tired I can’t write and I eat too much. By the time I’m tired, I have no hope of stopping myself from eating or motivating myself into getting in the words. Part of my system is to ensure I’m managing my schedule to keep from getting too tired. And when I know I have tiring times coming up, I don't include writing in my plan. 

To do this, you must know what your triggers are and that typically doesn't happen unless we are analyzing our failures. This can take some time to discover, but with each new discovery, should come an adjustment to your system.



3. Your system must help you stomp out your procrastination derailers
While triggers suck your will to write, derailers take your will and have it focus on something else. If you are someone who gets lost in social media, install a social media blocking app, turn off your wireless or take your laptop where there is no wifi. Are you supposed to be writing on your lunch hour but find yourself chatting with colleagues in the lunch room? Start taking your lunch and eating at your desk.

A writing system is not one thing. It is a series of things that work together to get you off the binge-purge-self-esteem-bashing cycle of the yo-yo writer.

And like with dieting, if you fall off the writing wagon, evaluate what happened, tweak your system to compensate if needed, and get right back at it.

Now, while I eat my doughnut,  hit me in the comments with what is working well for you in your writing system and what you know you need to tweak? 

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